What do you mean when you say “I love you?” Are you sure? You may be 100 percent sincere when you say “I love you,” but what are you trying to say? Get a pen and paper, and complete the following sentence 10 times: “When I say ‘I love you,’ I mean…” Do this now before reading on.
How did you get on? A lot of my students report some difficulty doing this exercise. During one Loveability course, a three-day program I teach which explores the psychology of love and loving relationships, a lawyer named Daniel told the group, “
I must have said ‘I love you’ to my wife at least 10,000 times, but this is the first time I’ve consciously thought about what it means.” Students often report that saying “I love you” can mean something different each time they say it.
The meaning of “I love you” has been tainted for some. For example, Claire, a nurse who attended my first Loveability program, told the group, “I find it difficult to know what ‘I love you’ means because I was raised in a family in which I never heard those words spoken.”
Other students have told me that although their parents said “I love you,” they didn’t feel loved by them. The meaning of “I love you” was distorted by parental behavior that was manipulative, possessive, critical or controlling.
These three magic words—”I love you”—can cause a lot of confusion and pain in romance, too. “My first serious boyfriend left me after I told him, ‘I love you,'” said Paula.
“My last boyfriend said ‘I love you’ only when he wanted sex,” said Julie.
“When my girlfriend says ‘I love you,’ I feel a pressure to say it back to her,” said Kevin.
“Each time my ex-husband was physically violent to me, he’d apologize and say ‘I love you’ in the sweetest way,” said Carole.
“The only girl I’ve ever said ‘I love you’ to betrayed me with my best friend,” said James.
So let’s return to the I Love You Inquiry. When you look at your list of 10 responses, what stands out? How clear were you? What was the most honest thing you said?
When my students complete this inquiry for the first time, they often discover that “I love you” is full of agendas. For example, “I love you” means “I need you” or “I want you” or “I own you” or “Agree with me” or “Now say you love me.” No wonder these three little words can cause so much trouble.
In a moment, I’d like you to do the exercise again, filling in the blank in the following sentence five times: “When I say ‘I love you,’ what I really mean is…” Getting clear on what you really mean will help you to be a truly loving presence in your relationships.
The people you love will feel even more loved by you because your intention to love is conscious and clear. This is so important, because the real meaning of “I love you” is not found in the words themselves, but in the intention behind them.
I Love You
i love youthree dangerous words abused by pop culture, teenagers and American society as a whole. often used by males to get into a woman’s pants BUT-
when a guy says these words to a girl (and truly does mean it) he is basically giving her permission to walk all over him… but he doesn’t care. when he means it, every second he spends with her, every time he hears her voice, every kiss, every laugh, every joke, every argument- is the best moment of his life.
a girl will question his reciprocation constantly for fear of being fooled. but if she truly loves him, she will believe anything and everything he tells her.
when you really mean it, you’ll never get tired of saying or hearing these words.
when your in love, you’d rather hear the other person’s voice than sleep. you care more about them than you care about yourself. you’ll never let the other say they love you more. you always want to be around them and feel happy when your around them. no matter how long you are with them, its never enough- you always want to be around the person. their happiness becomes your priority and you would do anything and everything just to see them smile.
you could go on and on trying to define your feelings for that person but you’ll never find words to accurately explain.
if you find love, you’ll know. don’t be fooled by lust. when love comes around, the hours fly by when you talk to that person.
teenagers- i know you all think your in love but PLEASE do not say it unless you are 104% positive its for real. too many people use these 3 words too lightly and they are beginning to lose their meaning.
if you find someone worth saying these words to, you are very lucky.
I Love You Too
I love youA saying. An over used statement in which society today takes for granted. The usage of the phrase varies deeply. It can range from a simple “Hey baby, I love you, now lets hook up.” to a feeling with when truly inlove, is literally indescribable.
Phycology dictates it as a simple chemical reaction triggered within the confines of your brain, but it is much, much more. It can be in the very epicenter of your soul or it can be your ultimate downfall. Love can either destroy you, or be the very reason of your existence.
Love is what love does. Love is giving someone with the power to obliterate you, but having complete faith and trust in them not to. Love is life.Guy who truly loves a girl: “I love you and I want to be with you forever.”