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Master & Slave, Relationship

February 10, 2018
Greek lemon chicken pie
February 2, 2018


So, before we tell you the must-knows of the master-slave relationship, let’s just freshen up on what it is. Basically, master-slave relationships are when one person in the relationship serves another. The slave obeys the instructions of the master, though, just to let you know, those values that the master has are consented to by the slave.

To make it sound easier, it’s two people where one person, the master, “owns” the other, the slave. Many people are shocked by master-slave relationships, but they’re completely consented and designed by both people in the relationship.

Essentials for a master-slave relationshipSo, if you’re considering about entering a master-slave relationship, here are some things you need to know. 

Understand what you want.Before you just agree to be in master-slave relationship, know what you want from it. Think about what type of fantasy you want to be fulfilled, even better, write it down.

That way, when you try to find a partner, you’ll be able to show them what you want and see if they’re able to fulfill it. However, don’t expect your fantasy on paper to turn out 100% in real life.

You should use your fantasy as a tool because nothing on paper ever turns out exact. That’s life Choose someone you trust.Don’t just pick up someone off the street. Master-slave relationships aren’t any different from any other relationship.

At the end of the day, the structure of it may be different, but you still need to be with someone you trust.

For master-slave relationships, if you’re the slave, you need to find someone who respects your agreement and boundaries. So, take your time getting to know your partner before engaging in something more intense.

 Develop a vision together.So, your partner knows your vision, which is great. Now they have an idea of what you want.

But this is a partnership, meaning you’ll have to take their needs into consideration.So, sit down and put both your fantasies together, seeing what you both will and will not do.

Whether you’re the master or slave, it’s your responsibility to communicate what you want from the relationship. Communication is a must.If you want this to work out for the both of you, you must communicate effectively.

If your master tells you to clean the bedroom, what does clean mean for them? What do they expect?You need to understand their expectations from you. Is there a position your master wants you to be in before sex?

If so, what is it? Are you dressed or naked? So, as a master, sit down with your partner and explain to them why you want things a certain way.

By explaining it to them, they’ll not only understand it, but they’ll remember why. Lead by example. If you want your slave to do something a certain way, the best way to show them is through teaching them and redirecting them when they’re wrong.

If you want something done a specific way, you may show them how you’d like it done. You must give clear instructions when you’re showing them, your slave is only human.

 Reward your slave. Whether you’re a slave or master, you’re in it because it gives you pleasure or else you wouldn’t be doing it. To show your slave that they’re doing a good job, you need to reward and praise them. Let them know that they’re appreciated. You can give them compliments, physical gestures—whatever you feel is appropriate.

Punish them when needed. Sometimes your slave needs to be punished. Punishment isn’t done for pleasure but rather a deterrent from specific behavior. When you punish, be fair and make sure it weighs the crime.

You can do warnings if you’d like, and when you’re punishing them, make sure you’re explaining why. Then, after you’ve punished them, be done with it and move forward 

Do not make your slave fear you.You don’t want your slave to fear you. This is a relationship, you want your slave to be able to reply to you without hesitation. Slaves have no power.This relationship is based on a dominant and a submissive.

Therefore, as a slave, there are a couple rules which are absolute for a slave.

These are some of the core rules you must follow.Firstly, you worship your master in every way. Secondly, you must always be ready to please your master. Thirdly, your head must be bowed down in the presence of your master.

Lastly, you can never look in the eyes of your master without permission. [Read: Domestic discipline –

A newbie’s guide to a sexy, spanky start] Create regular meetings.If you two want to have a pleasurable and flowing relationship, you’ll need to create regular meeting times outside of your master-slave domain.

That way, you’ll both be able to share your feelings and concerns about your relationship.If you’re not finding something pleasurable, then that’s the time you’ll be able to share it. Both of your needs should be met throughout the relationship.

 Show off your slave.As a master, if you’re truly proud of your slave, then you shouldn’t hesitate in showing your slave off. This is possibly the highest form of praise for your slave. Praise your slave because they need to be rewarded, they’re human


Now that you know the in’s and out’s of the master-slave relationship, you’ll have no problem creating a relationship which works for both of you

Eugene Genovese's central thesis, that paternalism best describes the social relations in the pre-capitalist slave South, receives renewed support and elaboration in this timely book. While there are numerous recent scholars emphasizing the capitalist nature of slavery, Kathleen M. Hilliard's work suggests that the debate is far from decided.

Her work does a wonderful job of showing how the accommodation and resistance that Genovese posits was at the heart of the master/slave relationship took place in the context of a burgeoning informal/underground/illicit economy in consumer goods that masters and slaves increasingly used to construct their social relations and power.

By mixing the field of consumption studies with the history of enslavement in the southeastern antebellum South, Hilliard makes an important contribution to the field

These laws demonstrate the absolutely inferior status of slaves physically, socially, and politically. Although South Carolina law allowed masters to redeem payment for lost work resulting from injuries inflicted by third parties, Virginia law allowed masters to "accidentally" kill their slaves while punishing them.

Taken together, these laws only constitute a small number of the injustices against antebellum blacks. There is a severity about these laws that make it clear for slaves not to cross their masters.

Think about it: Envision a male slave with physical strength on his side, and then think of the fragile female slave. Although well bodied and able women did exist, the majority of the female gender had little means to fight off an attacking master.

This resulted in degradation of these women by both verbal and physical abuse. Because they lacked the "power" necessary to resist, the master could torment them continually. More often, the female slave had to use her wit and charm to combat the slave institution. .

The slave, being personal chattel, is at all times liable to be sold absolutely, or mortgaged or leased, at the will of his master"

Slaves cannot redeem themselves, nor obtain a change of masters, though cruel treatment may have rendered such change necessary for their personal safety"

Slaves being objects of property, if injured by third persons, their owners, may bring suit, and recover damages for the injury."

Slaves can make no contract."

Slavery is heriditary and perpetual"

These laws demonstrate the absolutely inferior status of slaves physically, socially, and politically. Although South Carolina law allowed masters to redeem payment for lost work resulting from injuries inflicted by third parties, Virginia law allowed masters to "accidentally" kill their slaves while punishing them.

Taken together, these laws only constitute a small number of the injustices against antebellum blacks. There is a severity about these laws that make it clear for slaves not to cross their masters.

Think about it: Envision a male slave with physical strength on his side, and then think of the fragile female slave. Although well bodied and able women did exist, the majority of the female gender had little means to fight off an attacking master.

This resulted in degradation of these women by both verbal and physical abuse. Because they lacked the "power" necessary to resist, the master could torment them continually. More often, the female slave had to use her wit and charm to combat the slave institution.

Every decision and choice a person makes has some degree of risk associated with it. We believe that each adult must set for himself or herself the level of risk he or she is willing to accept. MTTA, Inc., supports the rights of individuals to make informed decisions and choices concerning their lifestyles.

MTTA, Inc., promotes open discussion and debate; however, we do not necessarily support every idea or technique put forth in our events. MTTA, Inc., its officers, Board of Directors, and Staff, will not be held responsible for accidents, injuries, or other improper applications of information or ideas generated by any of the programs or events it sponsors.

At MTTA, Inc., events, any views or opinions expressed are those of the individuals speaking and do not necessarily represent the views or opinions of MTTA, Inc., its officers, Board of Directors, staff or volunteers.

The slave affirmation ceremony began as the vision of slave barb, International slave 2007. she felt the need to provide the opportunity for peers and elders within the slave community to recognize individuals who had done the tough inner work of living a life of obedience over a significant period of time.

True to slave barb’s vision, this ceremony acknowledges one individual’s achievements, struggles, joys, contributions, and commitment to their slave journey.

The individual being recognized must have demonstrated the core principle values of honor, integrity, humility, and respect over a sustained period of time. This ceremony can be viewed as a joyous coming of age or a rite of passage that is being acknowledged by, and shared with, fellow slaves.

The variety of possible Master/slave arrangements is quite striking even in the small sample represented in the International Leatherman issue. The relationships range from a couple of years to more than a dozen years in duration, and the participants ages range from the late twenties to the late fifties


While a few of the relationships are monogamous, in others the Master has additional sex partners, in some the slave serves other men at the Master’s behest, and still others are a menage with two or more submissives and one Master

. One of the couples has an “open” relationship sexually: both Master and slave are free to play (safely) with others.

One Master says he never lets his slave come at all and feels that erection alone is sufficient climax for a slave, while another almost always lets his slave shoot when they play because he loves to watch it.

Most fall between those extremes, allowing the slave to come once a week or at some longer interval, on the theory that a horny slave is more attentive — and the slaves tend to agree.

(Amazing how many guys find it enormously exciting not to be allowed to come!) Several of the couples in the issue have detailed contracts specifying their respective rights and responsibilities.

Though such agreements have no legal standing, they can clarify the ground rules of a relationship and provide a touchstone for resolving disagreements. Others feel that a contract “freezes” a relationship and keeps it from evolving over time.

Precisely for that reason, however, one couple supplements their basic contract with rules and rituals that they revise and update annually. Many of the Masters in the IL group follow such traditional practices as not allowing slaves to use the furniture or wear clothes at home, and some forbid their slaves to use the first person in speech or writing —

but others consider such rules demeaning and more trouble than they’re worth to enforce. All these Masters want is for their slaves to behave respectfully and do what they’re told.

Reality Check

“Slavery” means being owned, but voluntary human property is not like a loaf of bread that gets consumed or a piece of equipment that’s used until it’s worn out and then discarded.

A consensual slave is more like leased property, which must be used within agreed limits and relinquished in good condition at the end of the agreed term (including options for renewal!).

Even if the agreed term is “for life” — a term that is hardly ever actually achieved, except when one partner dies prematurely from HIV or another disease — any sane Master must remain aware that his slave is a person and a citizen with certain inalienable rights and responsibilities.

Such awareness may spoil the fantasy for some, but that’s better than a misguided attempt to recreate the kind of chattel slavery we once had in the U.S. and that still exists in parts of the world even today.

Unlimited power over another person tends to corrupt the Master and to destroy the slave’s humanity. There is a middle ground, I think, even if it is hard to define, between such absolute slavery and erotic playacting — purely sexual behavior that may have little or no connection with the rest of the participants’ lives.

Committed, consensual slavery has so much potential for satisfaction of both Master and slave precisely because it is sustained neither by law, by custom, nor by force but by their own wills.

Each knows that he is wanted by the other, in different yet complementary ways. And, as in any good marriage, the whole is more than the sum of the parts.

On the other hand, the failure rate for full-time Master/slave relationships is even higher than for conventional (hetero) marriage these days. The level of commitment that such a relationship demands, from both parties, exceeds what most guys who try it are able to sustain past a year or two.

Some will find satisfaction at a lower level of intensity, some will continue trying to live up to their fantasies, or ideals, with different partners, and others will say goodbye to all that, probably not without regret. Perhaps such ventures should not be regarded as “failures” but as learning experiences.

Master/slave Dynamics

To my mind, a Master who doesn’t respect his slave, who thinks of him as dirt and treats him accordingly, is cheating himself — devaluing his own property. What’s the joy in owning someone who’s worthless?

Moreover, a Master who is too full of himself, who forgets how much he owes to his slave’s efforts and devotion, is riding for a fall.

A Master without a slave is like a rider without a horse — but a slave without a Master is like a jewel without a setting. No one can really deserve to own another person — to be blameless, ownership must come as a gift.

A slave gives himself because he trusts the Master to make the best of both of their lives. Possess me, use me, and you can do great things, his submission implies.

And accepting that gift implies that you will do your best to become the Master he deserves — for a good slave does deserve a good Master.

And what makes a good slave? Obedience, first of all, but not mere obedience. Always doing exactly what a Master tells you and no more is the sign of a slave who’s either rebellious or stupid.

A busy Master can’t give detailed orders for every contingency or constantly stand over a slave with a whip to correct every mistake. “Don’t do anything without orders except breathe” may work in the playroom, but it’s impossible to get through an ordinary day like that.

A good slave will not just follow instructions but be on the lookout for additional ways to serve, anticipating routine commands and relieving the Master of concern over trivia.

One such slave I knew (now, sadly, deceased) was so accomplished at managing his Master’s affairs that the man rarely had to issue an order. As a result, they were dogged by rumors that the slave was really running the relationship; in reality, he did nothing without his Master’s approval.

The slave was well used, the Master’s energies were freed for more important matters, and they were both very happy. Absent orders to the contrary, an attentive slave might rub his Master’s feet, or massage his neck, while he reads the paper, bring him something to drink when he’s too busy to ask for it,

supply a pad and pen when he’s taking a business call, record a favorite program that he’s not home to watch, help him undress when he retires for the evening, or any number of other services that go beyond what he’s been told to do


Of course, what is a routine chore for one slave might represent extraordinary thoughtfulness or a punishable presumption for another. It depends on the relationship’s rules, the slave’s abilities, and the Master’s personality.

But in most cases, striving to be of service is a better way of “slaving” than passively waiting for orders.

Finding Your Match

Despite the explosion of gay publications and organizations over the last couple of decades, and now the Internet and Web, for many of us the first place to look for men interested in bondage, s/m, or slavery is a leather bar — or any gay bar in a small community.

It is certainly possible to find men who are open to a relationship in a bar, but I don’t think it’s the optimal place.

Even aside from such drawbacks as noise, dim lighting, and too much booze, bar culture is strongly biased toward tricking rather than courting, with a premium given to costumes and appearances rather than character or skill.

A Master and slave might meet in a bar, but the prolonged process of getting to know and trust each other will likely take place elsewhere.

If you do meet someone of interest in a bar, the same cautions apply as for a bondage liaison: Talk extensively, and honestly, and don’t leave with him the same night. Get his number, or make a date to meet at another time in a restaurant or other neutral (safe) place


Ask for references, and see if any of your friends or acquaintances knows him. If he insists, “it’s now or never,” walk away.

Capable Masters rarely have difficulty finding all the sex they want, so they can afford to wait. Experienced slaves may be hungrier, but they, too, have usually learned patience. It’s the poseurs, the novices, the game-players, and the psychos who are in a hurry.

Personal ads, whether in print or online, are usually a more efficient means of finding potential partners, if you’re clear about your needs and what you have to offer. Placing your own ad may work better than answering others — try both, and rent a P.O. Box to receive responses to print ads.

Be wary of those cryptic ads that tell you little more than the man’s preferred role and how to contact him. Experienced Masters and slaves tend to be rather specific about what they’re looking for and who they are.

Club events and play parties can be good places to meet Masters and slaves — at least those who enjoy playing in public — though because these affairs can be cliquish, it helps if you’re not shy.

Watch how other men play and interact, and approach those whose styles seem compatible with your own. Also notice how they behave when they’re not “onstage” doing a scene.

If there is a huge difference between the play persona and the relaxed persona, they may not be able to sustain the role of Master or slave throughout a relationship. But if, like many men, you’re only interested in these roles during sex, that may be okay.

The best Masters, in my experience, act pretty much the same all the time. They don’t pretend to be what they’re not, and they approach everyone with a courtesy rooted in self-confidence. They laugh or smile more often than they bark orders.

A “Master” who tries to bolster his own self-importance by treating everyone like a doormat is bad news; it’s the same for slaves. The ones who fawn over the hottest-looking Masters and treat everyone else like dirt only want to serve their own libidos.

Be respectful to everyone and deferential to those who outrank you, by role or experience, but not obtrusively servile or obsequious — that gets annoying real fast. A helpful, willing attitude, genuine humility rather than low self-esteem, and a sense of humor go a long w

First Contacts

Correspondence, whether e-mail or regular, is a good icebreaker, but it is no substitute for a real-life meeting. You can tell more about a prospective partner’s character and trustworthiness in fifteen minutes in person than from months of letters or even phone calls.

Go with your gut feelings, but learn how to read them! Volumes can be conveyed, in both directions,

when a Master touches a slave for the first time — whether he shakes his hand, plays with his nipples, grabs the back of his neck, or rubs his ass. Allow yourself to respond in the moment, but then take a moment to ask yourself what you’re feeling.

If you’re the slave, do you feel safe? wanted? controlled? valued? If you’re the Master, do you sense fear? eagerness? doubt? relief? When two men who are right for each other touch for the first time, there is often an immediate, palpable drawing together, like iron filings to a magnet.

But despite any compatibility suggested by correspondence, there can just as easily be an immediate repulsion, or resistance, that tells them no match is possible.

Such initial impressions are clues that can tell you whether to continue exploring, or to pull back. If you continue, there is much else to be learned, not only in the first meeting but in subsequent ones, including longer trial periods — a weekend or, better, a week or two — where you can test how well you fit together in your chosen roles.

If I were looking to be a slave again, the main thing I’d want to get from a first meeting with a prospective Master would be the sense that if he owned me, I’d be cared for and used well, not wasted.

To help determine that, I’d want to see how he treats his other property: his clothes, gear, vehicle, house or apartment, perhaps other slaves. Carelessness or indifference to his possessions are danger signs.

If you’re a Master interviewing a prospective slave, and the first touch is promising, follow up with simple tests of his desire and ability to submit. He might exhibit some doubt or fear — in fact, it’s likely — but the yearning to surrender should outweigh it.

If he doesn’t already call you “Sir,” see if he begins to do so spontaneously, and gauge how natural it sounds in his mouth. Where do his eyes go? How carefully does he listen to you? If you tell him to sit and don’t specify where, does he take a chair or kneel at your feet?

You may desire to put this male animal under your control immediately, but it can be more profitable to see what he does without prompting. And spontaneous gestures of homage, such as kissing your hands or feet, are so gratifying!

Finally, be absolutely honest about yourself, and demand the same from your counterpart. Good Masters know the difference between a question that’s truly impertinent (there really aren’t many!) and one that’s merely awkward or painful to answer.

Both parties should have done their homework and really be ready to embark on this most demanding relationship.

Making promises you cannot keep, or claiming qualities you don’t possess, never works in the long run. If a Master, or a slave, doesn’t want you as you really are, fooling him into accepting you anyway will just make the inevitable rejection more painful.

M i Ro

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