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To Fall in Love or Not?

January 31, 2018
Wanderer
January 31, 2018
Lonely or Lonliness
January 31, 2018

And Then I get Brave and I Allow me to fall in Love


So this is it. You’re finally ready to dive into the world of love again. Well… not dive, but dip your toes and test the waters maybe? Gone are the days where you imagined nothing would compare to the love you lost. No more crying. No more open wounds. Maybe a couple of scars, but hey, no one comes out of any relationship unscathed right?

You don’t want to go through all of that pain again. You don’t want to stand there helpless as everything you poured your heart into slowly slips away from you.


You’re scared. It’s completely normal.


It still makes you shudder, the memories from the months you spent wrecking yourself for the mistakes of someone who didn’t know how to keep you. You look back and see such a different person. You look back and see someone who hasn’t moved on. But the person you are now has let go of all of that baggage. The person you are now is ready to fall in love again.

At first, you don’t really notice it. It starts with the small things. You can finally notice when someone is looking at you and have the courage to give them a small smile. It doesn’t feel wrong anymore when a cute guy talks to you and this time, you actually want to have a conversation.

Maybe you’ll even give him your number when he asks for it. You can finally allow yourself to accept the idea that it is okay to let someone else in. It’s okay to let your guard down once in a while. The best lesson you learned from your first heartbreak was that you know better. You’ll know when it doesn’t feel right. You’ll know if this person is all sorts of wrong for you. And you won’t settle for anything else ever again.


And then you meet someone.


He could be a friend, a complete stranger, or that cute guy who always smiles at you but you never noticed before because you were in a relationship. Point is, you meet someone, and you start feeling the butterflies again. You start looking forward to seeing them around. You look for them in crowds. You try and a catch their eye so you can wave and say hello. You get excited when they send you a message, and feel exasperated when they take forever to reply.

And despite yourself, you start thinking of the future. Yes, the one thing you never wanted to think about before. But now it doesn’t seem so scary and lonely. It seems promising. Full of smiles and laughter and all the good things love is before it gets complicated.



But you stop yourself.

You tell yourself to get a grip. Because yes, you might finally like someone on a real level. And yes, you might be talking all the time. And yes, despite all of your efforts, your feelings are growing deeper and deeper every day. But you’re scared. You don’t want to let your walls down. The slight hint of disinterest leaves you feeling dejected. You start to question yourself.

‘Am I enough?’ ‘Does he really like me?’ ‘Is this just a game to him?’ ‘What if it happens again?’ Please don’t. Don’t shut it all out again. Don’t lock away your emotions.


Allow yourself to feel again, even if it takes everything you’ve got. Don’t let yourself think that it will be like the last time. I can guarantee you that it won’t.


Because this person is different. This person isn’t the one who broke your heart. This is someone new. Someone who could love you with everything that he’s got, if you give him the chance. So please do, because some people don’t get a second chance. Some people spend the rest of their lives wishing they could meet someone they trusted enough to open their heart to again.

Don’t blame this potential love for the mistakes of your old one. Instead learn from it, do all the things you didn’t do. Allow this love to grow. Allow yourself to grow. You can’t keep on being afraid of what you’re capable of giving. Don’t hold yourself back from feeling a new kind of happy.


Accept that you have to let people in and that you have to try and be the girl you were before you got your heart broken.


That’s how you fall in love the second time around.


Ro


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